Yesterday, I walked into a local grocery store to buy some corn chips. This store has homemade chips and I AM ADDICTED! After picking my bag (which are usually right inside the door) I walked to the deli. The woman behind the deli counter asked how she could help me. I told her she already had and told her how much I enjoy their chips. I explained how I have not bought any commercial chips since I’ve found these and I thanked her and her peers for the love and care she put into them. She beamed. She thanked me. I thanked her again and went to check out. We both had smiles on our faces.
How do we learn gratitude? How do we teach gratitude? “Tell your brother thank you for giving you the ball back.” Is that truly gratitude? “Thank you grandma for these new paints.” “Thank you mom for this delicious dinner.” “Thank you dad for playing this game with me.” Gratitude is spontaneous and heartfelt. Conveying gratitude is something that is often best learned, not by telling kids to “say thank you” but by their watching us (adults) be gracious. The celebration of gratitude is felt by both the person who is thankful and by the one for who they are grateful. Exploring this positive feeling with children will help them better understand the true meaning of gratitude.
It is also important to explore how to be grateful for the amazing things around us. The moment we share… right now. The simple “gifts” all around us. Not wrapped in paper, tied with bows or tagged “to” and “from”. In this season of gratitude and light (Thanksgiving, Diwali, Chanukah, Christmas) I began to reflect. What came to me was…
Then was then it will not change.
Next is coming and will be.
Now is here explore, enjoy and delight in now.
I was touched by how well these few words that came to mind summed it up.
I have a close friend who recalls a story about me of us talking in the car. Mid conversation I declare, “Butterfly on the window.” then resume the conversation. So when I fall off subject now she will call out, “Butterfly on the window.” This is my cue that I’ve had a “random thought”. I have been accused (though never officially diagnosed) of having ADD and have often wondered if I do for reasons mentioned above. Last year, as I drove to visit this same friend on the west coast in October I got tickled as I saw one, then two, then three, then twelve, then twenty five…. Monarch butterflies flying south. I was mesmerized. I frequently had to tell myself to pay attention to the road, not the butterflies. It was SO magical and beautiful and majestic and fleeting and ancient and current, it was hard to not see them. I felt honored that I was but a small part of their long journey. My gratitude to the butterflies seems silly when I tell it, but it is sincere. This spring and fall I have struggled not to be distracted as I see them. I stopped struggling and just enjoyed them and again, thanked them for making me a tiny part of their journey.
When I see Monarchs I “catch” myself and, sometimes audibly, remind myself to “pay attention to the road.” I briefly feel ashamed that I am being so irresponsible. I then change the message in my head from being “distracted” to being “grateful”. I truly am in awe of these fragile, docile, mighty, determined creatures. They have a mission…. a destiny…. a goal and they will reach it, despite the dangers, barriers or trials in their path. They remind me I too have a mission, destiny and goal and if they can fly from Canada to Mexico and back as tiny, fragile as they are what am I afraid of? This change in perception lead me to think about how blessed and grateful I am to see and honor the Monarch… not be “distracted.”
Shortly before this trip with the Monarchs, I lost my job and was feeling very low. Each contact I had with those around me was a gift. I decided on that trip I wanted those around me to know they were my gift. I will make a point to truly thank the lady at the deli for the delicious chips. I will thank the child who picks up the item I dropped. I will thank the universe for the beautiful creatures, big and small, that I share this planet with. I have realized that this gratitude has allowed me to develop a deeper connection to those around me.
I no longer view my easy distractibility as a weakness, I see it as my strength. I have learned in my life:
Then was then it will not change.
Next is coming and will be.
Now is here explore, enjoy and delight in now.
I believe that if I hold fast to this, it will allow for more gratitude in my life. I will not long for what could have been, I will not worry about what will be, I will be thankful for what IS…… even the butterfly on my window. More importantly, I will teach the younger people around me that being grateful for what I have and what I experience leads to a happier and more joyful life than constantly longing for what I don’t have or what everyone else has.
Holiday blessings to all!